Be positive, feel positive, positive vibes... all imply that if we are having a hard go at life, we are being negative; that struggling means we aren’t being positive or looking on the bright side.
Let me be clear. Having a hard time, sitting in a feeling and reflecting on what it feels like to be you when things like disappointment, loss and hurt come up ARE NOT complaining or being negative. We can choose to complain in our hard times, but that is entirely different. The push to be positive forces us to deny what it means to be human; because we cannot “be positive” at all times; life is a swirly whirly up and down experience of all feelings and things and when we push to feel only one thing, we deny ourselves the experience of fully feeling anything.
Seeing something as either positive or negative doesn’t determine it’s value, it only casts a judgement on a feeling or experience. And guess what? Nothing is all good or all bad; everything is both, all moments can hold space for all feelings if we let them. What if we were more conscious and present to what was actually happening for us? What if we noticed what happiness and joy felt like while also holding space for loss, hurt and confusion? What if we actually made sense of our experiences and validated them, whatever they are? What if validating how we felt brought us more peace?
Maybe we would feel more things in their entirety.
Maybe we would be more able to actually find joy.
What if we stopped pushing positivity and started holding space for validation?
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